“I” Have a Sickness 寡人有疾 by 随宇而安 Sui Yu Er An (OE)


That year when I was 13, I ascended the throne. At the Qiong Lin feast, that Tan Hua Lang (3rd place in the national civil exam) whom I had stared at an extra few glances, left in indignation to express his stand to die rather than to be put to shame.

On the second day, my dissolute name have spread throughout the entire kingdom even till the age of 18. Throughout the kingdom all who had ambition and talents, none dare to be in the same room with me….

In reality, that night of the Qiong Lin feast, the one I was staring at was not the Tan Hua Lang, but was the Zhuang Yuan Lang (1st place in the national civil exam) who stood besides the Tai Qing pond, gentlemanly and upright, good natured and kind hearted like jade. The moonlight was overflowing the Tai Chi pond, also creating ripples throughout the pool of my heart.


Alternate Translation by Summer:

It is said that Guaren (I) is a lecherous ruler.

That year when I was thirteen years old, I just ascended to the throne. On the Qionglin feast, that tanghua official just because I swept at him two glances, with grief and indignation jumped into Taiqing pond to express that he would rather die than be humiliated.

The next day, my immoral notoriety spreaded all over the imperial court as well as among the ordinary people.

Till eighteen years old, there was no talented person with ambitions, who dared to share a room with me………

In fact, that night on Qionglin feast I wasn´t looking at tanghua official but at zhuangyuan official, who stood by Taiqing pond – an honest nobleman, gentle like a jade. Moonlight overflowed Taiqing pond. It also rippled the lake inside my heart.

Yet, Pei Zheng was leaning on the side, he spoke with a smile: „Your majesty, your illness again relapsed.“


Guaren has a sickness. It´s name is lovesickness. Only love can can cure it.


[Ebook][Audiobook] [Quả nhân có bệnh]  [Book review]


52 Responses

  1. peanuts
    peanuts August 5, 2012 at 5:40 am |

    Hi Chancy, you have fnished this book & no shocking ending, right? I’ve downloaded 10 chapters of this book & will finish the downloading once I get confirmation from you. Oh, really miss his voice, haha…Cxt8 has the names of the persons reading the books? If yes, I’ll dig out all the books read by him, LOL.

  2. peanuts
    peanuts August 5, 2012 at 6:39 am |

    Wah, you took quite some time to finish this short book:P Is it because you want to slowly savour this book & can’t bear for it to end, heehee…? What is the name of the time travelling book? Yes, yes, he is good with comedy. Is he working for cxt8? Oh, I must download all his books but hoard them for rainy days:P

  3. xia0yuer
    xia0yuer August 5, 2012 at 7:57 am |

    Hahaha, you really like this guy reader, don’t you? I agree with chancy that he sounds better here than in Kill Three Thousand Crows. He also sounds more masculine as Pei Zhen 😀

  4. xia0yuer
    xia0yuer August 7, 2012 at 6:59 pm |

    Wait, who’s Meng Jiu #2? Is it Su Yun or Pei Zheng? I’m only halfway through, but I’m definitely shipping the Pei Zheng/Dou Dou couple. They are so cute together! 😀

  5. Peanuts
    Peanuts August 8, 2012 at 3:54 am |

    Definitely support Pei Zheng since it is read by Xiao Bian C. Haha, found out his name. Wonder what the C stands for? He used to read fantasy books, no wonder sound so flippy & dreamy, haha..Oh luckily, no picture except tat of a bird on his blog:P It is a parrot? He must be a chatterbox, lol.

  6. xia0yuer
    xia0yuer August 8, 2012 at 2:52 pm |

    I’m at that part where Pei Zheng and Dou Dou are on the boat after she went to look at the estate for evidence.

    I actually think her mother’s story would be quite interesting. I wonder how she ended up falling for her shifu and how he felt when she married four other guys. 😀

  7. lidge
    lidge August 20, 2012 at 12:06 am |

    Reading this now. Only a few chapters in, and it’s really cute so far! Though I’m used to the idea of the sovereign being a guy that in the beginning I was really confused and thought the OTP was 2 guys. Got to the end of ch. 1 when I realized the sovereign is a girl….lol.

  8. Peanuts
    Peanuts August 20, 2012 at 12:11 am |

    Hahaha, this shows you didn’t read the intro to the book:P I am also a few chapters into the book. I am listening to the audiobook, even more cute:)

  9. xia0yuer
    xia0yuer August 20, 2012 at 3:10 am |

    Wait what??? Did I miss something while I was reading? I remember some kissing and straddling but nothing too explicit. Or have I not gotten there yet? I haven’t read past the part where Pei Zhao and Dou Dou are on the boat.

    And LOL @lidge. :DDDDD

  10. xia0yuer
    xia0yuer August 21, 2012 at 7:20 pm |

    This seems like a funny book, but it’s quite sad. I feel bad for Dou Dou because she doesn’t know who she can trust…

  11. Peanuts
    Peanuts August 21, 2012 at 11:49 pm |

    Huh, HXY’s ending? Oh, for me it means sad ending:( I’ve my suspicion bcos many a time funny book has sad or bad ending. Never mind, I haven’t been crying over a book for awhile, time to clean my eyes:)

  12. xia0yuer
    xia0yuer August 22, 2012 at 2:29 am |

    Ahhahaha. I got to the bed scenes and they are quite explicit. Actually the audiobook cut some of the graphic-ness out, but I was following along in the actual book and when I read to that part, I was like O.O…

    Pei Zhen is sick with some incurable disease, isn’t he? He’s going to die at the end, right? That’s why it’s HXY-ly.

    Which of the dads is your favorite? I think mine might be #3. He’s so dopey and sweet. 😀

  13. Peanuts
    Peanuts August 22, 2012 at 3:31 am |

    Oh come on, they are just reading it loud. Not as embarrassing as filming it. Cgege has such thin skin, haha…If for me, I won’t be able to stop laughing:P Is this more explicit than Heavy Sweetness’ water & land actions:P? Btw which chapter of the audiobook? Let me listen & compare:P

  14. raini
    raini August 22, 2012 at 3:32 am |

    3rd dad is the one they made stay with her when her 5th dad went to get the missing herb I think? haha they’re all so spoiling to her. I know she always says one dad plays with her, one dad gets played by her, and her mom responsible for playing her. So cute when you imagine that lol, her army of dads…

    yeah, those scenes hehe
    it must’ve been very uncomfortable for the two readers since they work together not alone xP

  15. xia0yuer
    xia0yuer August 22, 2012 at 3:54 am |

    Haha, A’Shou is married? Because I think she’s the one who has to read the awkward parts. C Ge’ge only gets a few lines and they aren’t too bad out of context.

    It happens in the first half of Ep. 53 in the audiobook. But you’re totally missing the super explicit part. I guess they decided to censor it so poor A’Shou won’t get too embarrassed.

  16. xia0yuer
    xia0yuer August 22, 2012 at 3:56 am |

    3rd dad is the one who plays with her (and always seems to get her hurt so all her other dads admonish him), 4th is the one who gets played by her, and of course her mom is the one who plays her. Hehehe.

  17. raini
    raini August 22, 2012 at 3:57 am |

    seriously it’s even scarier than this? i thought this was bad enough haha

  18. xia0yuer
    xia0yuer August 26, 2012 at 1:53 am |

    I saw his real picture b4, my handsome scale is messed up by celebs, but as yr everyday guy he’s consider goodlooking, very sunny.

    Is this the picture you saw? http://blog.cxt8.com/CcccC

    I’m starting to fangirl him like peanuts has been. Hehehe.

  19. Peanuts
    Peanuts August 26, 2012 at 2:11 am |

    Oh, he got a new avatar. Is that him & the gf? Haha, I’ve got good taste in men:P Before is Wallace, now Cgege. In future I need to hide my guys from xiaoyuer’s preying eyes, haha….

  20. Peanuts
    Peanuts December 29, 2012 at 2:03 pm |

    I like this book. Cgege and ashou sound nice and funny. I like cgege best as the eunuch, haha. But I still kept on falling asleep while listening to it then woke up and listened to later chapters as my playlist kept running so I m all over the place now:( hey Atsu, u dun seem to have much to comment on this book but wrote such lengthy one on other books, heehee…what books r all of u reading now? Yeh, who rules the world has been updated to chapter 101. Anyone up to chapter 70 yet?

  21. atsu-chan
    atsu-chan December 30, 2012 at 12:02 am |

    I don’t know about this one because I kept falling asleep while reading it, just like you! But it felt rather fluffy and Disney after Chong Zi. Dou Dou was rather ineffective and Su Yun was too inscrutable to be likeable, but I liked Pei Zheng…most of the time. Especially the image of him standing in the crowd watching Dou Dou high up and far away. It’s just the plot didn’t make any sense in the second half.

    I’m still reading Scarlet Flower and Glass Maiden but I’m looking for something really romantic and all-consuming, hehe… Please let me know if you have any suggestions!

  22. chancy426
    chancy426 December 30, 2012 at 5:15 am |

    Did you read Mirage? I don’t remember if you read it yet? I’m looking for another book that is very consuming also. ^_____^ Where is Chapter 2 of Cherry’s new book? T_T

  23. Peanuts
    Peanuts December 30, 2012 at 12:26 pm |

    Cgege’s various voices are very funny. Ashou is also very good in doing diff voices. But the story is a bit flat. I m still wondering if pei zheng is good or bad. Su yun sounds boring and dou dou clueless. I read some comments on this book that some listeners pity su yun. Will find out later if I will feel the same as I m only half way thru.

    Start listen to who rules the world as she said she gonna finish it soon. It is not exactly romantic but it will keep u awake. Did u try any of the new unfinished books? The latest work by Abu and Cgege’s seem to be popular. Have u listened to lonesome fragrance? If not u can give it a try as it is one of chancy fav.

    atsu has finished mirage. Heehee, I remembered everything she told me. I bet cherry gonna release her book in 2013 as the first book for the yr with the two most swoon worthy guys.

  24. atsu-chan
    atsu-chan December 31, 2012 at 2:57 am |

    Yup, yup, I finished Mirage. I actually reread the end recently to see if I’d like it better. If you find anything good, chancy, let me know! I’ll let you know if I find anything good too. I’m looking towards more modern stuff, because Scarlet Flower and Glass Maiden are both quite heavy.

    Oh, the many voices of C-gege. His eunuch voice is awesome! I won’t spoil the rest of this book for you, Peanuts, but I didn’t really feel sympathetic for Su Yun, but you can make your own call. DouDou is just…DouDou, except later in the novel she turns into DouDou In Love.

    I might just listen to Who Rules The World because it sounds really cool! I did try some of the new ones, but just sampled. I need Cherry’s new book to be released. Now!!!!

  25. Peanuts
    Peanuts December 31, 2012 at 3:36 am |

    Chancy is very much into her game nowadays so I doubt she’ll find anything good, haha…Anyway the best readers are in cxt8 so it is kind of our only source:( Hey, hey, I saw Alice till epi 4. Park Shi Hoo is so adorable like the white rabbit. My new year’s wish is to bring him home, lol. Hey atsu, did you try the new gangster modern book with spider?

    Cgege also read the eunuch part in Floating Dream. He also sounds awesome in Pillow Book. If he was born during the Qing dynasty, he can be a powerful enunch, lol. Whereas Abu can be one of the prince. But Abu is more suitable to be a scholar or ‘sian’ Until now, I feel nothing for Su Yun. Even if Pei Zheng is a baddie, I’ll still ship him bcos I like bad guy, lol.

    Yes, yes, give Who Gets the World a try bcos it is rather confusing at the beginning so you need to read chancy’s intro. You might not be able to get into the book immediately bcos it takes time to build up but once it picks up, you can’t put it down, haha…Thus you might isten slowly at the beginning. I like the playful & sharp interactions b/w the 2 wolves, the unspoken affection, jibes, bickering etc. Once the couple gets together, it becomes boring. I gonna continue listening tonite to ursher in 2013 new year, heehee.

  26. lidge
    lidge January 31, 2013 at 1:04 am |

    My 2 cents: Just finished this. I would rate it as average. What I like most would be the flashbacks of main girl/main guy and main girl/2nd guy because they were sweet, cute and funny. Unfortunately, I couldn’t fully understand some critical parts of the story, especially the political investigation in the beginning and the scheming towards the end. Not sure if it’s the fault of the translation or the writer’s style or both but this led to my not enjoying the story that much.

    Moving onto Winter/Summer~

  27. Peanuts
    Peanuts January 31, 2013 at 1:18 am |

    Oh lidge u r back. Why so slow reading this book? I tut u can finish a book a day, lol. I got so bored till I sent u an email, haha…I lost interest in this book part way thru & didn’t bother to pick up inspite of it being read by my fav readers:( Yaya, some parts are cute & funny but not the politics bits. Maybe bcos I didn’t finish the story so I don’t get the politic parts & who are the goodies & baddies? But the politics are not gripping or interesting so I am not even interested to probe further.

    Hey, read Go with the Flow Love as it is highly recommended by me & Seoul, haha….I think that book is more interesting & more your taste than Winter & Summer. Btw, I drew up a comprehensive characters list in english for Who Gets the World to help u to keep track of who is who when u r reading it:)

  28. Pm
    Pm August 28, 2013 at 2:08 am |

    From the comments it does not seem too exciting a book to sink time into it?.

  29. Peanuts
    Peanuts August 28, 2013 at 2:24 am |

    From the comments it does not seem too exciting a book to sink time into it?.

    I can’t really get into this book. It is actually quite funny but I just can’t get into it. You can give it a try & give feedback. Ok, updated the link.

  30. Pm
    Pm August 28, 2013 at 7:41 am |

    Thanks peanuts 🙂 will try it and give my comments…

  31. Melanie
    Melanie October 14, 2013 at 12:09 pm |

    I’m listening to this audiobook right now and am now up to chapter 13. It’s actually really funny and sweet. I started out liking Su Yun, but then Pei Zheng began to slowly win me over. The story is pretty good, so I’m not sure why it only has a lukewarm reception. Can someone spoil me and tell me the ending? Why does Su Yan remind everyone here of Meng Jiu? What happens to Pei Zheng at the end?

  32. Peanuts
    Peanuts October 14, 2013 at 12:22 pm |

    Wah Mel, you are all over the place, ransacking my book bar, lol. I don’t know why I can’t get into the story. I can’t concentrate and don’t have much interest in the audio book although I like the 2 readers. Don’t ask me for details as I didn’t really listen to the story but I do know some general spoilers. Su Yan is like MJ bcos Dou Dou likes him and he also likes her but he rejected her bcos I forgot why. Hence in the end like MJ, Su Yan won’t get the girl. She marries Pei Zheng but he dies of illness later if I remember correctly so kind of sad ending.

    I listened to 3000 crows a long time ago so I need to listen to the radio drama to refresh my memory b4 I can write you a summary so you’ve to wait. A radio drama is too concise for you to understand especially with ancient novels. Anyway the audio book is quite good so you should listen to that.

  33. Melanie
    Melanie October 16, 2013 at 1:18 am |

    Yes, I am all over the place. Sometimes, I think I have ADHD, because I cannot seem to concentrate on just one thing; I must have several different things going on at the same time. I also have a very bad habit of skipping to the last chapter when I am only halfway through a book to find out the ending, rather than go chapter by chapter like a normal person.

    Anyway, I am up to Chapter 51, the wedding day. So far, I like the book. The two readers are very good. I think the readers (along with appropriate sound effects) really help make or break an audiobook-adapted story.

    I think I’ve figured out why this story is not that popular as the others posted here. The female lead, Dou Dou, is clueless, but not the funny and mischievous kind of cluelessness like Jin Mi in Heavy Sweetness. Not to say that Dou Dou is not cute. I do think she is adorable in her innocence. However, she is too naive and gullible to be a ruler. I feel that, if not for her court full of competent male advisors (Su Yun, Pei Zheng, etc), the country would be in shambles or she would have been disposed of very quickly by some ambitious evil court official. I remember at the beginning, Pei Zheng nearly resigned from his post as Prime Minister, and Dou Dou had no clue how to take care of about 95% of the country’s affairs with him absent. She had to run over to the Prime Minister’s estate, wake Pei Zheng up while he was trying to recuperate from an illness, and ask for his advice. :p

    Since I have not completely finished the story yet, I will hold my judgment of Su Yun. So far, his character is not that well developed (and I’m already on Chapter 51), so that I do not feel that sorry for him for losing the girl to Pei Zheng. But yes, he does remind me of Meng Jiu now. He held Dou Dou’s heart in the palm of his hand for 10 years. Why did he let the opportunity to marry her slip out of his palm? I am still not sure why. I think the story alludes to the fact that the female ruler’s consort cannot participate in political affairs. And Su Yun wants to remain an active member of the political court. Therefore, he chose his political aspirations over love. But what I don’t understand is that if he truly valued his place in the political arena that much, then why did he resign from his post shortly after Dou Dou’s wedding to Pei Zheng? When he passed up his chance to marry Dou Dou, he knew she would one day marry someone else, for her duty as a ruler was to produce an heir. So why did he resign when she married someone else? Was there ever any direct explanation as to why Su Yun lied to Dou Dou that he didn’t love her at the beginning of the story, which then opened up an opportunity for Pei Zheng to step in and win over Dou Dou’s heart?

    Of all three leads, I like Pei Zheng the most. I think most men shiver at the thought of being a female ruler’s consort, since I think that somehow takes away a man’s masculinity. But not Pei Zheng. The guy just simply exudes manliness. I love his teasing attitude when interacting with Dou Dou. I feel like he is the emperor and Dou Dou is his concubine, instead of the other way around, from his commanding presence. Most definitely, with Pei Zheng as the ruler’s consort, Dou Dou can forget about acquiring several more husbands. Pei Zheng simply won’t allow it. :p

    Dou Dou’s five dads are really fun to read about. But I really wonder how they manage to get along without sinking into a jealous rage. I think if Dou Dou had married both Pei Zheng and Su Yun, both men would be getting into fights hourly. They already disagree with each other in the political court. At least, in such a public arena as court, they would have to exercise some restraint. But in private, they would probably try to strangle each other. I like it that Dou Dou chose to wholeheartedly love one and only one man. Love that has to be shared with another is diluted, incomplete love.

    I jumped to the last 2 chapters and cried buckets, since I, too, had fallen in love with Pei Zheng. Waaaah!

    Oh, and how can I forget the graphic sex scenes? Haha, they are so graphic that even I could tell they were sex scenes with my poor understanding of Mandarin. Yep, I had no problem figuring out the hanky panky scenes, unlike in Heavy Sweetness. I kind of wished the author had toned down those scenes. :p

  34. Peanuts
    Peanuts October 16, 2013 at 6:19 am |

    Oh Mel, why are we so alike, lol? I need to read spoilers b4 i commence a book. Also, I seldom finish a book bcos I’ve short attention span, haha….But don’t worry, I found out that we are normals, lol.

    It is good to know your Chinese is improving since you can spot the mustard scenes:P According to xiaoyuer, the readers have already censored some of the more fiery scenes lol. Chancy said the male reader is too embarassed to reply to the listeners & disappeared after they teased him about it:) This makes me wanna pick up this book again since I missed all the good bits, lol. Btw Chancy is surprised to read that you wish to have those scenes tone down taking into consideration how keen you were on them at xiaoyuer’s blog, lol.

    I will ask Lidge if she can remember the answers to your queries and get back to you. Otherwise, you’ve to wait for someone else to enlighten you.

  35. Hamster428
    Hamster428 February 8, 2015 at 7:38 pm |

    I just finished this book today. 4/5 in terms of how much I like it.
    I think Su Yun turned Doudou down not because of his political aspirations but because he felt his family had made it impossible for them to be together. Since his grandfather was involved in coruptions against the court, he would put Doudou in a difficult spot when she’s made to punish her prince consort’s clan. So he chose to let his grandfather die in honor and take on the blame instead. In some ways, he’s too selfless and that’s why he lost her. But I don’t think he regrets his decision, because unlike Meng Jiu, he’s content knowing she’s with someone she loves (who isn’t him). In this aspect, the story makes you sad and wistful, but doesn’t tear you up with despair. I quite like all of the characters, and I appreciate that Doudou continues to try her best at being a ruler throughout the course of the story and never truly becomes just a man’s woman in terms of character development. All in all, this book was thoughtfully written for a chiclit.

  36. squinty
    squinty March 12, 2015 at 4:25 am |

    My recent audiobook addiction has had me fangirling like crazy. it’s just a shame I’m so picky with audiobooks.

    Just one question… What does Cgege look like??? His picture is koala bear, damn I have had no eyecandy recently, my blood sugar is now super low.

  37. squinty
    squinty March 12, 2015 at 4:28 am |

    I do not count koala bears as candy, though they are cute.

  38. Annie
    Annie February 28, 2016 at 9:46 pm |

    Does anyone know where I can find the prequel- the moms story?

    I can’t seem to find and would love to read it.

    Much appreciated!

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