Memory Lost 美人为馅 by 丁墨 Ding Mo (HE)


When in the presence of strangers, Han Chen was always handsome and cold, making it difficult for others to get close to him. He was like the frosted snow – pure, and slightly chilly. Yet, he was also like the river flowing in the dark night – quiet and moving. To many, he was akin to an unequalled and untouchable god.

Only in the presence of Bai Jin Xi would this famous top police superintendent expose his deeply hidden shameless nature .

“Come and sit nearer to me, I won’t eat you. At least, not now.”

“I have never touched other women before. Do you want to check my body?”

“Bai Jin Xi, never ever leave my side. Every year, every month, every moment, every minute, every second.”

In his heart, there exists an obstinate old man – one who has tirelessly loved her throughout all these years.

*T/N: Although 美人为馅 does not actually translate to Memory Lost, I decided to go with Memory Lost because this is the Official English Title for this book. Technically, 美人为馅 translates to Beauty as Filling.


[Ebook] [Eng Translation] [Drama with Eng Subs][Truy tìm ký ức][미인위함]

[Viet audiobook][Manhua][Manhua in Eng] [Audiobook]


39 Responses

  1. thiri
    thiri July 2, 2015 at 6:59 am |

    He doesn’t know that Jin Xi is his fiance?I mean Jin Xi face is not the same in past?

  2. dramasbooksandtea
    dramasbooksandtea July 2, 2015 at 7:36 am |

    @thiri Yup, Han Chen doesn’t know that Jin Xi is his fiancé. 🙂

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  3. thiri
    thiri July 2, 2015 at 1:09 pm |

    Oh I see! I also like Ding Mo books.That’s why I want to try this book.Is that good?I really like Ding Mo Male leads.I mean u know that low EQ, super intelligent, they Maybe cold but really care about their love one.i really Thank u for introduction this book.But If u kindly give me more spoiler I will be more happy.hee hee #^_^#~>_<~

  4. rireey
    rireey July 2, 2015 at 4:35 pm |

    please translate this book, i really want to read this but i don’t understand Chinese.. 🙁 and please if someone want to translate this book i really hope this book can be translate until finish…. thanks….

  5. dramasbooksandtea
    dramasbooksandtea July 2, 2015 at 5:16 pm |

    @thiri Haha I like Ding Mo’s books too, although I’ve been mainly stuck with her crime thrillers. I don’t really read her sci-fi stuff, although I heard really good stuff about some of her sci-fi books too!

    Haha well, I guess in Memory Lost the male lead Han Chen is not really low EQ? But rather he’s very focused and clear about what he wants, which causes him to disregard people whom he perceives as obstacles that prevent him from achieving what he wants. He loves the female lead very much and he’s very protective of her. In a way I prefer him over BJY (Male lead of He Has Come), because I feel BJY appears to be more cool whereas Han Chen has so much passion (for his fiancé, for his job) that he just burns up the screen.

    I also prefer the couple in Memory Lost – I guess its because it feels more equal somehow? Like Han Chen uses traditional investigation methods to determine whose the criminal (gather clues, evidence, narrowing down suspects based on cold hard facts) whereas Jin Xi uses criminal profiling to narrow down suspects and ultimately both of them are required to combine forces when facing the big bad boss. Both are equally talented and superior in their field, and it can get slightly competitive because Han Chen actually thinks rather lowly of criminal profiling.

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    Haha I’m sorry I don’t know how much to spoil, and sometimes I feel that my summaries are not doing it justice!! It’s difficult because every case (with the exception of the first serial rapist case) is just so linked to each other and clues are dropped along the way so it’s difficult to properly explain everything. Haha let me know if you need more spoilers!

    On a side note, there has been some discussion about the title within the Chinese community. When translated as Beauty as Filling, it could mean that the Beauty (Jin Xi) is trapped between two pieces of bread (the male lead and the second male lead). Additionally, because 馅 has the same Chinese pronunciation as 陷, some have also interpreted it to mean that the Beauty (Jin Xi) is a trap.

  6. yy
    yy July 2, 2015 at 8:23 pm |

    this is sounds sooo interesting!! Please more spoilers……….Like for example what scene do you think is the most romantic part in the novel?? based on previous summaries and spoilers han chen and jin xi appears to be a cute couple!

  7. thiri
    thiri July 2, 2015 at 8:27 pm |

    Hee Hee.Thanks for spoil me!I really like crime thrillers. And I also enjoy Snail love and When he come.About the novel name I don’t know that whether right or wrong b’coz I can’t read Chinese. I just used English translation to read Chinese novel. But I think this novel name is perfect match with story line.They lost their memory but slowly recover and try to get everything what they have lost.Am I right?Ai ya seen like second Male lead is also good.It can’t be b’coz I have second lead syndrome! Ha Ha.≧﹏≦

  8. hoju
    hoju July 2, 2015 at 9:05 pm |

    Peanuts asked me a little while ago to post this, so I have a review in my head that just needs to get typed down. :p I’ll post that later, when I catch up with my translating after being sick.

    However, I had to chime in on the Chinese title. The Beauty as the Filling. I followed DM on weibo the whole time she was writing this, but after the human shabu-shabu and reputed other gruesome things in her other two crime thrillers, when I read this title, I thought some psycho was going to mince up women and put them in buns or something. >_< Haha, thankfully my overactive imagination was wrong. Ding Mo hasn't given hints, I believe, on why she chose this title, so I'll just throw in my own speculations. I don't think the idea that Bai Jinxi/Su Mian "sandwiched" between the two men really fulfills the meaning. She never before felt "sandwiched" between them. Her heart always lay with Han Chen, before and after their memory loss. She was not oblivious to Xu Sibai's love for her, but she made things clear that he was a very cherished friend but friend only and never felt any pressure -- heartache perhaps, but never pressure -- from not being able to return his love. In terms of the "beauty" i.e. Bai Jinxi/Su Mian being a trap... perhaps. But who would the trap be for? 5 years ago, where the trap was sprung on the police forces? Present day, where the trap was for "S", to bring him back into the 7 person team? (Sorry for being vague, but those who've read the story will know who and what I'm referring to.) My interpretation, which will contain vague SPOILERS:

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  9. thiri
    thiri July 3, 2015 at 2:53 am |

    Wow!That’s really interesting.

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    Well Well Well I admitted That’s totally my cup of tea.Thanks hoju. ⊙﹏⊙

  10. Bee88
    Bee88 July 4, 2015 at 5:22 am |

    I stumbled on the audiobook 2 weeks ago but unfortunately it’s incomplete – only goes up to 83. While I’ve enjoyed most of Ding Mo’s psychological thrillers, the concept of the main characters both having amnesia just seems a bit far fetched. But the plot is very interesting…looking forward to the rest of the audiobook!

  11. dramasbooksandtea
    dramasbooksandtea July 4, 2015 at 2:21 pm |

    @hoju Yup Ding Mo actually hasn’t given any hints regarding the Chinese title, I was just translating what some of the Chinese community actually think it is (although I suspect that most of them have given up on Ding Mo’s titles having any meaning). I think what they meant when they said that Jin Xi was a “trap” was simply that both Han Chen and S couldn’t “escape” once they fell for her – both Han Chen and S did some pretty “illogical” things because they just loved her so much. That said, I agree that your interpretation is by far the most plausible sounding one!

    @ thiri Yup, S really really loved Jin Xi. But Jin Xi only had eyes for Han Chen. That said, S might be one of the more successful second male leads that Ding Mo crafted? In that support for the second male lead and the male lead are rather evenly split. It’s not like say, in He Has Come, where the support is largely one-sided (for BJY to end up with JY, and LXR doesn’t have much support).

    @Bee88 The premise of the main characters both having amnesia is one of the main mysteries that they have to solve – in that, their memory loss was a purposeful act caused by others. Perhaps that makes the premise slightly easier to swallow?

  12. dramasbooksandtea
    dramasbooksandtea July 4, 2015 at 2:28 pm |

    @yy Haha the most romantic part in the novel? Well I must say the whole novel is just generally quite sweet, but one of the scenes that struck me the most was during the finale where both Jin Xi and Han Chen were fighting the big bad boss. I posted a very rough translation below.

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  13. thiri
    thiri July 4, 2015 at 8:23 pm |

    Can I ask u something! I’m only in the half way of novel.But I’m dying to know

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  14. jollymary
    jollymary July 5, 2015 at 4:49 am |

    @thiri, yup

    on a diff note… just found out that Ding Mo’s next novel will be about LIN MO CHEN (from glamorous time)!!!!!

    she wrote it as an author’s note on her latest novel Star-Drift <–has anyone read / liked that one? I got bored and couldnt finish…. but would like to know if it got better

  15. peach
    peach July 5, 2015 at 5:08 am |

    Just finished the novel and it left me wanting more!!! The criminal cases were so interesting and the romance between Han Chen and Bai Jinxi/Su Mian was so so sweet!

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    But all in all, this novel was an extremely good read for me!!! The romance part is simple with no dramas! Recommended!

  16. peach
    peach July 5, 2015 at 6:34 am |

    @dramasbooksandtea I felt the same way too!

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  17. hoju
    hoju July 5, 2015 at 8:10 am |

    Lots of descriptions from the rest of you on the story, so this isn’t really a review but more my long-winded thoughts on various elements of the novel. Spoilers riddled throughout so most of it is in the spoiler tag.

    Overall, a great interweaving of romance, friendship and suspense. But one of the strongest points was the characterization. Ding Mo’s brings to life her characters by giving them their own unique traits: Han Chen’s love of the cool, black jacket, his habit of sticking his hands into his pockets, his need to chain-smoke (which drove me crazy but as DM said, was his way of coping with the emptiness of those 5 years without Su Mian). Leng Mian’s short, succinct way of speaking, Su Mian’s love of writing on the whiteboard as she talks, etc etc. I had entire scenes playing out in my mind of how these characters would carry themselves and interact.

    I loved the romance in this. Han Chen as the aloof, bordering arrogant, brilliant cop and Bai Jinxi/Su Mian as the intelligent, confident, and beautiful but one-of-the-guys makes a great combo. Some netizens have complained that they are too perfect a match. The handsome smart guy paired with the beautiful smart girl. Yeah, but it works for me!

    Dramasbooksandtea, I actually think there is a bit of the “falling” part of the in love, in the first part of the story when they still have not deduced their past connection, the attraction between them, despite their resistance, is apparent. Clearly, Han Chen is struggling to not fall for her because he knows he has a fiancée somewhere out there, and it is just unbeknownst to him that she is his fiancée. At the same time, Bai Jinxi is trying to stifle her attraction to him, uncertain of his reaction and later, because she finds out he has a fiancée. I loved this period of ambiguity in their relationship because the sparks do fly, and I actually wish Ding Mo had prolonged it a while longer.

    The idea where two former lovers who have lost their memories but who have come back together again is done so well by Ding Mo. I have read comments on Chinese sites that they just don’t like the whole amnesia plot device because it’s so overused. Yes… but Ding Mo’s thought out details in the plot line, the description of the inner feelings of these two people, the overall set-up that this memory loss is not a result of a dog-blood TVB-esque reason (e.g. like falling off a cliff) makes this main idea work. And she makes it work well. The jumbled dreams, sudden waves of crashing emotions triggered by familiar situations, feelings of familiarity are described very aptly. You will not feel like the amnesia is a plot device. However, I read this story almost immediately after I read two other novels where amnesia was also used, and if I must make one complaint, it would be to say, sometimes in Memory Lost, I felt like I had already read the exact same line in another novel. I don’t mind that plots are recycled so long as the author can put their own unique signature and spin on it, but I don’t want to feel like I’m reading clichéd lines. (“Why did she get this sense of familiarity from him?” etc, etc)

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    But, that’s nitpicking and overall, the story was great. Despite having felt less suspense in this than I did in Glamorous Time’s first 2 story arcs, overall, this story strikes home more with me because of the characterizations. Plot is great, but being able to connect with the characters is what separates a good story from a great one for me, and this one really did that.

  18. jollymerry
    jollymerry July 5, 2015 at 8:37 pm |

    @dramasbooksandtea if you havent read Glamorous Times I totally recommend that one if you like stories with a bit of business strategy. I like the male lead from that one most out of all her male leads. AND there is an epilogue with kids from Close Your Eyes (Bo Jian) and Snail Loves that is just too cute!! Also it’s the perfect time to read Glamorous Time bc her next book is coming out soon (I think she goes 3-5 months bw planning??)

    Idk about her scifi, hopefully somebody posts a review on one because I want to understand the hype too!

  19. yy
    yy July 9, 2015 at 9:37 pm |

    wow…..thanks dramasbooksandtea! the romantic scene is so romantic! just reading your translation allows me to visualize the scene!

  20. Nutella
    Nutella July 14, 2015 at 6:46 pm |

    I finally resurface from prison, since Ding Mo is so special (even though I’m so late… waits for Peanut to laugh at me)~

    I am so happy for another book~ Ding Mo’s romances are special la ^u^ I can only start this book once this week finishes, but I have really high hopes.

    Thank you dramabooksandtea and hoju for posting this as well as the spoilers.. after being burnt by so many books, I refuse to read unless I know a substantial amount of the story beforehand). <333

    The plot sounds like a breath of fresh air~ Hopefully there won't be much angst ^u^

    Btw, is it possible that the character for the word "filling" be read as the word for secret? Because then Ding Mo may be making a subtle pun perhaps ^u^

  21. jollymerry
    jollymerry August 20, 2015 at 2:43 pm |

    Since it was just Chinese Valentine’s Day, Ding Mo posted another epilogue to her weibo!

  22. Nutella
    Nutella August 20, 2015 at 3:22 pm |

    Ooohhh, could someone put up a link to her weibo? (If I do it, I’ll probably end up following some random person pretending to be her *is very bad at weibo*)

  23. dramasbooksandtea
    dramasbooksandtea August 20, 2015 at 7:30 pm |

    If you’re still looking for it, Dingmo’s weibo is at 🙂

  24. Nutella
    Nutella August 21, 2015 at 10:07 pm |

    Thank you so much! I see DM has been very up to date with the drama filming XD

  25. Remy
    Remy September 23, 2015 at 4:55 am |

    The VN audiobook link is incorrect. Here’s an updated link:

  26. Alabama
    Alabama December 2, 2015 at 2:02 am |

    There is on going english translation for this novel at

  27. MBMB
    MBMB December 27, 2016 at 2:14 am |

    How many chapters does this novel have? Since the drama has 3 seasons, the novel is definitely long right?

  28. lorelai
    lorelai February 19, 2017 at 1:12 am |

    Also, can you spoil in detail why the people in their lives didn’t tell them about each other? peach quoted that they were supposed to wait until graduation to get married, so they knew each other in college? What about college friends? and colleagues? No one tells them anything? I’m sorry, it’s just that I loved Ding Mo’s other novel’s tv adaptations and I’m dying of curiosity how she can pull off double amnesia in a logical way without it being ridiculous in a kdrama/taiwanese drama fashion. I wouldn’t ask this, but I can’t find any spoilers online and both the drama and novel translations are on hiatus very early in the story so there is no point of trying to find answers there. If you don’t want to post such a big spoiler maybe you can email me. Thank you 🙂

  29. Grace
    Grace February 19, 2017 at 12:51 pm |

    Lorelai@ b’coz they thought that she betray him and their team. So they just decided she is kind of dead(as far as they known)and he doesn’t remember her so he better of without her.Acutually at that time she is undercover and fresh out of the academy.So no one knows she is undercover and the one who knows is also murder by psychopath(if i reamember correctly the one who murder by psychopath is also that psychopath’s father and he is police chief commander or someething like that)..Creepy right? That psychopaths team r so twisted.And their mind is definitely not normal..But when u read it u just can’t hate them..Ding Mo build the characters really well and yes they r villains.But they r kind of villains u grow to like it.

  30. lorelai
    lorelai February 20, 2017 at 2:05 am |

    @Grace Thank You for your reply! I’m sure to read AND watch the drama when they get translated. If you love those kind of likable psychos, and you haven’t watched it yet, you might want to check out the Kdrama Hello Monster/ I Remember You. It’s the kdrama that most resembles that Romcrime genre of Love me if you Dare. It’s not exactly the same concept but it’s pretty good nonetheless and it has great actors, especially the psychopaths of the main plot are brilliant and a Kpop Idol from EXO that is actually great at acting as a villain here.

  31. Mira
    Mira June 15, 2017 at 3:14 pm |

    Please spoil me. What chapter did Han Chen investigated if his fiance was really Bai Jin Xi?

  32. Pink
    Pink August 13, 2017 at 1:37 am |

    Can someone please spoil me? The book ends up well? Please, someone tell me!!

  33. LovelyDay
    LovelyDay August 23, 2017 at 8:41 am |

    I can’t really remember the specific chapter as I read this sometime back, but Han Chen started piecing things together after their stint in the jungle. I hope I didn’t mix up the novel and the drama though…

    Yep! The story has a happy ending (HE). Both got back together, solved the mystery of why they lost their memories, and bested the crime syndicate.

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  34. Jangho-shin
    Jangho-shin September 7, 2017 at 11:41 am |

    Hello! Can someone please tell the family background of jin is her family alive does she have ablny sibings? Are they wealthy or middle class.where did she meet han chen. And who were her team that thought she betrayed them? And what about xu si bai?is he a criminal?

  35. RiverSong
    RiverSong October 29, 2017 at 12:57 am |

    So I’ve officially become a ding mo fan after this trilogy. I tried finding other books of hers to read, but realised that they were more traditional romance than romantic suspense/thriller like this trilogy. So can anyone recommend any books similar to these? Thanks!

  36. crispitweets (@crispitweets)
    crispitweets (@crispitweets) November 14, 2017 at 4:47 pm |

    I’ve read Snail, and am watching the drama for this novel. I’ve noticed Ding Mo tends to victimize the women in her fiction – there was one in Snail, and here’s another in this book – how many bad things can happen to one woman in a row?? That makes me uncomfortable. I love all the other elements but this one bothers me.

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